How Do I Live Intentionally in a Post-Oct 7th World?

The world changed on October 7th, 2023. For many of us it has been difficult to show up in conversations or in community with others with intentionality – meaning, to pause and take time to deliberately choose how we are going to interact.

Facilitator prompts group:

• Think of an intention that you would like to personally bring to this next hour. Write that intention down. Now, turn to the person next to you and share your intention with them.

After a couple of minutes of sharing, facilitator prompts group:

How did you choose your intention? Why that one and not something else? How will you be able to tell if you have met it by the end of our time together? 

Judaism acknowledges that sometimes we are going through the motions and need a framework to act deliberately and intentionally. Over one thousand years ago humans were struggling with this stuff. It is not just the cell phones and social media! Saying a blessing over bread for instance calls our attention to the food that we are about to enjoy. Keeping kosher is also a way of making intentional choices about what we eat and when. 

When we are deliberate about and aware of the actions that we perform and the experiences that we have, then we are being intentional. It is mostly a mental state of mind, but it demonstrates itself in the actions we take. 

The Jewish concept for intentionality is called Kavanah. Often when it is discussed it has to do with prayer, but for our purposes we are going to use it more broadly, but in the text we’re going to look at – Maimonides (Rambam) who wrote the text –was thinking about prayer that wasn’t optional but required.   

With a partner, I invite you to read the text aloud and then spend 5 minutes intentionally (!) digging into the questions that follow.  You will want to have your notecard available.  

משנה תורה, הלכות תפילה וברכת כהנים ד׳:ט״ו

(טו) כַּוָּנַת הַלֵּב כֵּיצַד. כָּל תְּפִלָּה שֶׁאֵינָהּ בְּכַוָּנָה אֵינָהּ תְּפִלָּה. וְאִם הִתְפַּלֵּל בְּלֹא כַּוָּנָה חוֹזֵר וּמִתְפַּלֵּל בְּכַוָּנָה. מָצָא דַּעְתּוֹ מְשֻׁבֶּשֶׁת וְלִבּוֹ טָרוּד אָסוּר לוֹ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל עַד שֶׁתִּתְיַשֵּׁב דַּעְתּוֹ. לְפִיכָךְ הַבָּא מִן הַדֶּרֶךְ וְהוּא עָיֵף אוֹ מֵצֵר אָסוּר לוֹ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל עַד שֶׁתִּתְיַשֵּׁב דַּעְתּוֹ. אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים יִשְׁהֶה שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים עַד שֶׁיָּנוּחַ וְתִתְקָרֵר דַּעְתּוֹ וְאַחַר כָּךְ יִתְפַּלֵּל:

Mishneh Torah, Prayer and the Priestly Blessing 4:15

Proper intention [Kavana]: How does one attain it?

Any prayer that is not [recited] with proper intention is not prayer. If one prays without proper intention, one must repeat the prayers with proper intention.

One who is in a confused or troubled state may not pray until one composes themselves. Therefore, one who comes in from a journey and is tired or irritated is forbidden to pray until one composes themselves. Our Sages taught that one should wait three days until one is rested and one’s mind is settled, and then one may pray.

Discuss:

• Maimonides says, any prayer said without kavanah, intentionality, is not prayer. Why do you think prayer is what this text focuses on? How can you tell when you are being intentional? How about when something in your life requires more intention?
• What is your reaction to the idea that if a person is in a confused or troubled state they must not pray until they take three days to rest? When, if ever, would it be possible to apply this rule to your life? 

Realistically we are not going to be intentional in every area of our lives. We might forget to floss for a few weeks and then make the deliberate choice to start again because we have an upcoming dentist appointment. We might be overwhelmed by our anger at a post on social media and jump to comment on it without thinking about what message we want to convey. That is human!

I will invite you to choose one area of your own life that needs more Kavanah in how you respond to things in this post October 7th world. Look at your original intention for our time together, or refer back to your list of moments from the past year for inspiration. Maybe you want to bring more intention to a specific relationship or to the way you interact with social media right before you go to bed. Perhaps you want to be more intentional about how to speak to your family members about Israel. Or maybe something else!

There is power in writing down your intentions. It makes them real and lets you hold yourself accountable.  On the Kavanah Planning Page, make your commitment and think about what might get in the way.  I will invite you to be thoughtful for about 5 minutes.  

Facilitator note: you might choose to play quiet Israeli instrumental music in the background.

Click here to access the Kavanah planning page handout.

Now that you have a plan, I will invite you to visit the Kavanah Intentionality Station. Here, you will turn your Kavanah Planning Page into a physical reminder. We have all sorts of materials to inspire your creativity. What can you make today to help you stay committed to the Kavanah you have created for yourself? If you are not sure what to make, it can help to pick up a few objects in your hand and see what comes to mind. These do not have to be perfect. You’ll have 10 minutes to create and then we’ll clean up for 5.  

Facilitator Note: Expect some mayhem as people try to convert their ideas to physical reminders.  Just cheerlead and encourage people to pick up something and play with it.

Ideas of physical reminders might include:

• Physical reminder signs that you put above your computer with a slogan-  No Israel doom scrolling after 10 pm

• A jar that functions likes a swear jar to motivate me to pause and take a breath when I am ranting about the political leadership

• A braided bracelet to remind myself that multiple narratives can exist at once 
• An Am Yisrael Chai sticker to remind myself to be proud of the Jewish people