Are we “allowed” to care more for our family than others?
Prep for the Session
Overview
This resource explores our levels of connections to others in the wake of October 7 and the Hostage Crisis through the values of Community and Family
At-a-Glance:
This resource was created in response to the horrific terror attacks on Israel by Hamas, and specifically engages with the hostage crisis. It is designed by educators for educators as a tool for processing the events of the moment through a values-based approach. It encourages learners to think about the varying relationships and commitments to both family and community.
This resource has been adapted from the EVERYONE COUNTS initiative, a Toolkit to Inspire Learning and Action on Pidyon Shvuyim (Hostage Liberation.) Click here for the full collection.
- Magic markers/colored pencils, scissors, glue (general craft supplies)
- Text study source sheet –click here for PDF
- Pens and Post-It notes
- For teens and young adults
- For opportunities to broaden thinking about those closest to us and those further away.
- For a session with emphasis on more text study
Let’s Get Started
FRAME THE ISSUE
Read the following for context:
At this time when Israel and the Jewish people are in need, how do we navigate all of the different causes close to our heart? How do we balance the needs of those standing right in front of us – family, friends – with the needs of the larger Israeli and Jewish communities?
We will consider this question specifically through the lens of the hostage crisis. Are the hostages “our family”? Are we allowed to “care” more for our family or chosen family than for others?
Facilitator prompts the group:
- Think of one specific person impacted by the October 7 war who is front and center in your mind right now. Who is it?
- Write down three words that describe your relationship to that person.
EXPLORE THE VALUE: COMMUNITY
Facilitator reads:
Let’s think about the value of community and the value of family side by side. Who are my family members? Are they only my immediate family? Do I have more of a responsibility to my family than to others? Is that okay?
Take a few minutes to respond to the prompts below:
- What is the value of community?
- What is the value of family?
Participants shout out words and the facilitator puts them on the whiteboard (or digital Jamboard) to be visible the whole session.
ACTIVITY
A PORTRAIT OF FAMILY?
Facilitator prompts the group:
- Draw your family or make a family tree (with colored pencils, markers, etc.), however you define family. (It does not need to be your biological family.)
- Post the drawings around the room for gallery view later.
Discussion:
- Turn to the person next to you and each answer the following questions.
- Who is my family? What does family mean to me?
- Do I have an obligation to care for my family more than for strangers?
- Come back together and highlight common themes.
ANCHOR IN JEWISH WISDOM
Step 1 – Small Group Learning:
- Divide into havrutas/partners, and scan the QR code or use the source sheet at the link here to read the texts and answer the questions at the bottom of each text.
- This source sheet has been adapted from the EVERYONECOUNTS initiative, a Toolkit to Inspire Learning and Action on Pidyon Shvuyim (Hostage Liberation.) Click Here for the full collection.
Step 2 – Gather back as a full group and answer the questions below:
- How did the sources studied above influence the way you think about this current moment in Israel?
- When do you think most about the value of family? Of community?
- When you see a poster with a hostage’s face do you see a member of your family, community, or a stranger? (Any answer is okay)
Prompt action
CALLS TO ACTION:
Facilitator prompts the group as a whole:
The hostages and their families are a part of our family. They need our love and attention.
Here are some suggestions of Calls to Action.
Which ones would you adopt? Do you have other suggestions? Spend a few moments reviewing the list below and in the space below add your own suggestion that you will commit to in the coming weeks.
- School/campus community “adopts” a hostage
- Leave an empty seat for a particular hostage
- Have a morning intention every day which can include a poem/prayer/saying about the hostages
- Call representatives in the United States
- Give out dog tags to everyone
Close with intention
It’s okay to care about your family first! This does not mean that you care “less” about people that are not in your family.
Facilitator prompts group:
Journal, draw or record a message for yourself:
- What is one way I am thinking differently about family and its connection to my Jewish identity?
Back to Are we “allowed” to care more for our family than others? 
